Ask Biella: “How can I find passion and bliss in my life without any alcohol consumption?”

Ask Biella

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Ask Biella is a Gateway Gazette Feature Column provided by a Contemporary Philosopher and Writer. The purpose and intent of this feature is to provide readers with an opportunity to ask a wide variety of life-based questions. Think “Dear Abby,” but with more emphasis on life than just relationships. 

See below to submit your questions.

Biella, thank you for this opportunity! I love your beingness.“How can I find passion and bliss in my life without any alcohol consumption?”

Dear Steph,

Sometimes to get where we want to go we have to first figure out where we are coming from. An opposite approach can be very helpful. Like here, we might ask, what is being avoided? Passion and bliss typically require the fullness of ourselves, and especially are connected to our energy. Alcohol, despite what’s generally believed, is a suppressant. Yes, people feel uninhibited, but this is because their inhibitions are suppressed.

Applying this to your question, what might you be suppressing? What might you believe stands in the way of your passion and bliss? Could it be an uncomfortable truth?

Let me say, suppose… in relationships, whether they be work relationships, friendships or intimate personal relationships, all of them involve compromise. Now, when it comes to work relationships, like with a boss, we compromise fairly easily and don’t think too much of it. We do what’s necessary to make the relationship work, Same applies to co-workers.

But, in personal relationships, we somehow sometimes believe that things have to be perfect. That we *Have* to love absolutely everything about our partner, and always feel attracted to them and have 24/7 passion and bliss. But…

But reality. Ideals are great, but without realism they are simply hollow and meaningless. When it comes to our personal intimate relationships, we need to be real, and make peace with that realness. It does not mean we are bad or failing in the relationship if we do not love everything about our partner. No need for guilt if we don’t. We have to be real that love is about compromise. How much we compromise is another matter. As long as we don’t compromise our integrity, it doesn’t matter much on the details. This is how we love, via compromise, merging with others, to make it good for both, and giving up a bit of insisting on having it all our own way. 

alcohol consumption

So what if we don’t love everything about our partner? Do we love enough? That’s what matters. Passion and bliss come from focusing and immersing in what we DO love. When we let go of the misbelief that we have to be perfect in the relationship, that’s when we get on the path to bliss and passion. Also, both bliss and passion shift over time. Understanding that we have to adapt, helps. Old ways of connecting to bliss and passion might not be valid anymore.

When we stop avoiding what makes us uncomfortable, and deal with it and sort it out, that’s when we remove the barriers to bliss and passion. Also, on a more practical level, physical passion is based on factors somewhat beyond our control, and changes over time. The trick is to change and adapt along with it, finding passion, and bliss in other ways. That’s the realistic ideal.


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About the Columnist

A Contemporary Philosopher and Writer, who exercises a glorious intellectual mind that is most admirable for its profundity and sharpness. Often offering multiple sides of an argument, and provoking self-introspection. Their aim is to uncover Appropriateness, Awareness, Attention, Application, Attunement, and more, with a unique, high-level understanding of the profound intricacies that interlace these concepts.

. . .  more to come

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